Die Hard Action Amazing, Yet Absurd

The action movie that doesn’t know it’s an action movie is a problem. This one gloats in its genre. Which do you prefer?

Either way, here’s what happens when you become too self aware:

1. You forget why we loved you:

The charm of Die Hard is its plea to the regular guy. John McClane is a New York City cop who gets into more trouble that he should be able to handle. We love seeing him get out of it. This time, McClane is so damn invincible it’s unbelievable. I’ve never fallen off a jet before. Have you?

2. You forget we love the average guy so much we also love his even more average sidekick:

The beat cop in I, the quirky janitor in II and the “Good Samaritan” in III all made us feel like, yeah, we too could be in a Die Hard movie. These were all guys who were even less of heroes than McClane. They got mixed up and spit out, and we loved that, too. Replacing them with a hacker who the audience can’t identify with removed the connectivity and heart behind the series.

3. You forgot that heroes don’t know they’re heroes:

McClane’s heroic no dinners, divorce and my kids hate me speech is way too “on the nose” for the genre. Come on guys, the basis if this kind of hero is to not establish his heroics. Lose the speech and replace with some falling action, so we can have some down time between explosions.

4. You forgot we love the all-American angle:

It’s the Fourth of July. Bruce Willis is a republican. If you’re going to regurgitate nationalism, now’s the time. The threat against the United States and its people was introduced nicely in the first half, but after that, the audience never gets closure on the fear and heartache we’ve all just witnessed. Sure, McClane gets his daughter back, but what about my power and the idea that the Capitol building has just been destroyed? If I call 911, is John McClane going to answer? Thanks for adding to our fear Fourth of July and letting those terrorists win.

5. You forgot that action is like sex, we have to want it:

Tease the audience with the right amount of action and we’ll feel breathless. Choke us with sequence after sequence and we’ll feel like we’re at a hot dog eating contest. The pacing was off you’re your gluttony of blow-up moments that with each scene, they lost appeal. You can’t bold everything or nothing is bold.